Our choice of a mate is an extremely important decision. Once a man chooses a woman to become his wife, she is his companion, the mother of their children, and the keeper of their home. Before he chooses his best man, he needs to give much thought into this serious matter of selecting a mate. It is vitally important that he select a godly woman as she will know Jesus’ teachings and she will be a committed Christian.
As God taught the Jews, He gave them commandments to be obeyed. One commandment was their not marrying outside of His people. We read in Deuteronomy 7:3-4,” Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly. ”
God does not want us to marry those who might lead us away from Him. We are warned about marrying mates who are not believers of the Lord and how that can lead us into apostasy. The word apostasy means a rejection of your beliefs (often in favor of opposing beliefs). Another meaning of apostasy is a total desertion or departure from a cause.
The Old Testament is there for our learning. Over and over we read of men taking as wives the women of foreign lands. In these foreign lands, the people did not follow the Lord’s commands. Anyone who married someone from another land was risking falling into apostasy.
A Biblical example of a man who married women from other lands is Solomon. ” But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, ‘ You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.’ Solomon clung to these in love.” I Kings 11:1-2
Solomon married many women from these lands for political reasons. Instead of conflict and war between their countries, they became allies. Notice I Kings 3:1,” Now Solomon made a treaty with Pharaoh king of Egypt, and married Pharaoh’s daughter; then he brought her to the city of David until he finished building his own house, and the house of the Lord, and the wall all around Jerusalem. ” She was Solomon’s primary wife and she might have been unable to bear children.
The Lord God has continually wanted His people to keep in the forefront of their minds that they are separate from the world. A man needs to stop and put much thought into any marriage proposal or discussion of marriage. The woman he marries will need to have values close to his and she will need to be kind and gentle.